Bangalore, July 24, 2013: A young couple asked, ‘‘We have been married for several years but the only thing common between us are our differences. We are not able to make decisions; our indecisiveness is our common point. We don’t smile at each other. What do we do?

Few days back a man asked, ‘‘We are full of contradictions and so I am angry and upset with the contradictions of life.’

Life is not so small as to put it into compartments of good and bad, right and wrong, evil and noble. Life is vast. So big that it includes and contains contradictions. In India, the symbol of Kali explains this point very beautifully. She is shown dancing on the chest of her husband that is, Lord Shiva. She loves her husband and at the same time dances on his chest almost killing him. Life is full of contradictions. One has to gracefully accept them and at the same time change whatever is possible. We also have to learn to accept what cannot be changed.

The context of a relationship should be one of love and not of expectation. Love has to go through transformation and purification. Only then, would we find that we are bigger than our differences and not slaves to differences. But how?

By understanding what is life without differences. Differences add richness to life, variety to life, spice to life. One should be creative in a relationship. Like in a music concert there would be different musical instruments but all of them are harmonised to create symphony. Exactly in the same way, you are different, your husband is different - like musical instruments but still you can create music in life.

Learn to enjoy the differences. By hoping that only when differences are dissolved, we will be happy; we will only be hopping from one hope to another!

Swami Sukhabodhananda is the founder and chairman of Prasanna Trust. He is a respected spiritual leader who is often referred to as the ‘Corporate Guru.’

Source: The New Indian Express, July 24, 2013